Apples & Anthrax

This weekend I happened to be outside when the mailman arrived, asking for me by name. He handed me a sealed express mail envelope - no sender's name, no return address - which contained a used Apple Store Gift Card, with a remaining balance of $0.

This is the perfect way to drive someone bat shit crazy.

Though I lust after an Apple computer, the only connection I have to Steve Job's cash cow is through iTunes - the repository for my 10,000+ song collection. The first thing I did was check my iTunes account and see if there had been any untoward activity, like a download of the complete repertoire of Gloria Estefan and Miami Sound Machine, but everything looked normal. Same with my other credit cards. Same with my PayPal. Same with my bank account.

Lauren thinks it's some weird mailing mistake, but the sender KNEW MY NAME, KNEW MY ADDRESS and, most importantly, KNEW THIS MYSTERY WOULD CONSUME AND EVENTUALLY, INEVITABLY DESTROY ME! I can't stop thinking about it, worrying about it and most annoyingly for my friends and family, talking about it - I mean, why would a complete stranger from Atlanta, Georgia spend $16.25 to next day air me an empty Apple Store Gift Card, complete with the little Apple Store Gift Card Case? Can you picture them, racing into the post office and cycling through the mailing options. First class mail, too slow. Priority mail, too slow. No, they gotta get this precious cargo - this used, empty Apple Gift Store Card - to me as quickly as the United State Postal Service will allow, damn the cost! It's totally crazy, and that crazy is catching.

What does it mean?

What do they want?

Do they know what I did last summer? Dun, Dun, Dunnn!

Break out the conspiracy theories people - We gotta turn this beat around because I am just one more sleepless night away from heading to Atlanta, with murder in my heart and crazy in my brain!